Divorce is nothing if not a trial, a long, arduous, and painful trial. Besides for the actual legal process of determining the terms of the divorce, the operation is one that takes its toll on everyone involved, both emotionally and physically. It’s a source of depression, anger, and loneliness, and it has the ability to leave you a single parent with the responsibility of taking care of your children and easing them through this period of transition independently. For all of these reasons and more, there are various aspects you should consider beforehand:
1. Identify your feelings
For obvious reasons, you will be experiencing a lot of different emotions, some even conflicting. You could feel glad that whatever problems you were having are now at an end, but then of course there is the sorrow attached to losing a person you had planned on spending the rest of your life with. You might also feel worried that you will not be able to support yourself and any dependents you might have on your own. Whatever it is that you are feeling, it is important that you take the time to think about it so that you can be aware of them all and therefore take control of them. You don’t want your anxieties and fears to consume you and drive you to that point where your friends are begging you to consider quitting alcohol cold turkey.
2. Keep a clear mind during negotiations
Once you have established everything you are feeling, make sure to put that all on the back burner while working out negotiations. By letting your anger get involved, you will only create needless headache and preventable legal and emotional battles between your and your spouse. By addressing every matter with a clear head, you will create a tone of understanding and cooperation rather than one of rivalry.
3. Be compassionate
If you are suffering from an influx of emotion, you can be sure your spouse is too. Therefore, be aware that some things your spouse may say are brought on by his or her anxieties and fears, and don’t let them rile you. That can only create needless complications and make the process go on for a longer period of time.
4. Make careful decisions
There will definitely be a lot of things you want to get, but it is more important to think of the bigger picture. Particularly in cases where you have children, you will want to be able to create a relationship with your ex-partner that will leave you, at the very least, able stand each other’s presence for short periods of time. Therefore, consider making smaller sacrifices to protect the bigger picture. However, don’t give up all of your rights. Make sure that the solutions made are the best for everyone, both legally and practically.
5. Consider seeing someone
During a time like this, when you are losing the one person you could confide in completely, it is important to find someone else you can talk to. A divorce coach or therapist might be worth considering, as they have training and experience that a best friend or relative does not. Either way, however, make sure you are receiving the support you need.